It’s A Nice Day For A White Wedding

The concept of a white wedding has been a constant for almost as long as people have been getting married. Unquestionably, there is a strong history behind the concept, but why is this, and is it still relevant in the present day?

For many, the reasoning behind a “white wedding” is that, on the day she comes to the altar, a bride is virginal. It is immediately easy to see why some people feel the concept to be outdated. In no way is this a slight on the woman getting married, but in the present day, a majority of couples who marry have been living, or at least occasionally spending the night together before they tie the knot. Is it really dishonest to wear white, the color of purity, when you have had a physical relationship with your prospective spouse?

Many would argue not. A white dress can be part of a wedding for more reasons than tradition. Some designs practically demand to be made in white because they are so intricate that adding color to the mix would be somewhat garish. Some people just want to wear white. If tradition were our only guide, we would all still be living in mud huts.

On the day you get married there are only two opinions that should be given foremost prominence, and they are those of the bride and of the groom. If you want a white wedding, then have one – and if you don’t, then that is also fine.

Wedding No-Nos

There are some things which should be obvious to anyone but which are, for whatever reason, blind spots to some. This is clear from the occasional situation which has been given light by the rise in reality TV, where some programs have emerged which feature a groom-to-be making the decisions for their wedding day while the bride sits back (usually at the home of a friend) and waits to see what her beloved achieves. As a result of this concept, there have been some horrific decisions made which should be obvious to anyone with half a brain.

Firstly, although a man may have two big loves in his life – his wife and his sports team – combining the two in a wedding scenario is perhaps the worst decision he could possibly make. If both partners are equally big fans of a team, involving their colors in the ceremony as part of one’s outfit may be acceptable. Otherwise, keep them away from the whole endeavor! Do not make the mistake of thinking that your marriage and your sports team are in any way equal.

Secondly, the venue for a marriage matters. You may be offered a deal which allows you to save money on the venue and gives you the chance to spend the money elsewhere. Your bride will, however, not thank you if the photographs from your big day feature the local sewage works.

And finally, don’t ever believe that holding the reception at your favorite bar is fine just because they know you there and will make you welcome. If it is a place with which you both feel a strong affinity, fine. If not, it just looks like a snub to her wishes.

The Best Man And The Maid Of Honor

If we think of a wedding as a film – and it has to be said that, unless we have been drinking, we usually do not – then the bride and groom are the actor and actress in a lead role, while the positions of “supporting” actor and actress go to the best man and the maid of honor. In a wedding, these latter roles are considered highly important and choosing people to fill them can often be one of the more stressful elements of the whole procedure. When you come to choose your best man or maid of honor, you have to think long and hard about your decision.

Usually, the roles will be given to the person you consider your best friend. They can be related to you by blood or merely by a bond forged in the fires of shared experience, but for many people, the difficulty is in choosing someone without upsetting another person who feels the role should have been theirs. For the bride or groom, avoiding hurt feelings on the part of their friends is often one of the longest tightropes they will ever have to walk.

There is no steadfast way to ensure you get it right, but it is a decision you have to take by yourself. By all means seek advice, and speak to the people you are considering, but when you make that final choice it is essential that you let the people who were not chosen know that they still matter to you, and that the choice was indeed a difficult one. If, after that, they still do not accept it, then they may not realize that the day is about you and your spouse to be rather then themselves.